You get a fine for improper mcguffin disposal.

I insert a stapler.

You get three memos stapled into your head.

I insert an expensive necklace.

You get a very risqué sketchbook.

I insert half a Hawaiian-Style pizza.

You get a single whole pineapple

I insert a viking helmet

You get a clip from Classic Doctor Who that refers to your helmet..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QNqWfrRxGts

I insert a pot of ready to eat Porridge.

you get a bowl of blueberry oatmeal

I insert some pasta with no sauce

...and out comes twenty pounds of goopy cement.


Let's try a bucket of frog eggs...

You get plushes of Toad and Toadette

I insert 20 pounds of goopy cement

You get ... You get ... Oh, man, this thing is clogged. Wait a minute... You get a building code violation... sheesh.

Okay, let's try a trash bag full of used coffee cups.

You get a $15 gift card to Starbucks Thank you for joining our loyalty program!

I insert my cell phone, I'm due for an upgrade.

you get a Motorola Microtac 2.

i insert NHWestoN

Why, you get a well-dressed, strikingly handsome, witty, articulate gentleman of matured years and poised bearing prepared to take you out for a delightful evening in your favorite town ...

...and also I drop a pair of tractor tires into the machine.

Go back to your island Roshi you're not fooling anyone.

. . . . .

Oh great, You spawned an army of Grinders.

I stuff a bomb in there to stem the tide before their boss shows up.

Out comes winged lit sticks of dynamite that follow.

I insert a universe-containing coin.

You get the universe containing necklace from Men In Black, only that without universe.

I instert a Famicom video game cartridge.

You get a Famicom gameplay, but not of the game you inserted.

I insert a token of gratitude.

You get the next quest in the chain

I insert the entirety of Xenoblade Chronicles X's soundtrack

you get every episode of "KAZOO'd!"

i insert 12000 gallons of strawberry yogurt.

You get the full run of the "Strawberry Shortcake" dolls [including the Pie Man].

So, in goes a boat load of bananas. And maybe a couple of tarantulas.

you get a boatload of Banana spiders!!!!!!

I insert a T-shirt that frequently changes text and color for no reason while no one is looking

you get a half-alien squirrel named grace.

i insert Nomu. and i mean the first one, the one that was memorable, before they became semi-disposable hench-things.

Gosh, unforeseen simulants all over the floor. The janitor is gonna be so honked...

Delicately, I insert three rolls of fine lace.

Delicately, out comes three lace briefs.

I insert a ketchup packet.

You get a campfire sash.

Hmmm, alright. In goes an old newspaper picture of Orsen Wells.

Get a copy of the novel "Journey to the Center of the Earth" with illustrations capable of inciting feelings of hopelesness! Wow!

I insert a peso.

you get M Bison. because logic is dead.

i insert logic's scorched remains.

Out pours the scorching lava of derangement.

In goes the rusting components left from a 1956 DeSoto.

Out comes a rusting car made from the rusting components. It's not a 1956 DeSoto, but close enough.

I insert a paint can.

Out comes "The Mona Lisa" except that, since there's only one color of paint used, the canvas is cheesecloth, and the painter was a toucan, the image is unrecognizable.


Let's drop in a pile of orange rinds.

you get a puppy complete with a little bowtie

I insert a car horn

You get the toots.

Since we're feeling musical, how about we drop in an Alto Saxaphone.

you get the entire saxaphone solo from dolphin shoals

I insert a generic sword

You get an infinity+1 sword! ...But you're the wrong class to wield it.

I Insert a stick.

you get a maaaagic stick

I insert all the webcomics I've ever read

You get a colorful web of entertaining entanglements.

How's'bout we drop in a fine aged Kentucky Bourbon? We can still keep our PG-13 rating if it's good stock, right?

You get an umbrella with the logo of a british tailor shop on it, a big mac, and a poppy.

i insert a bottle of 'Pain Reliever' brand pain pills.

You get a copy of D&D
*inserts a TARDIS