Housepets!

Posted: **Thu Apr 04, 2013 2:26 pm**

The only rule of this is NOT that every statement has to be an outrageous lie. No, only the most pristine and pure statements of unassailable truth are allowed. And lest I demonstrate this, I will NOT start with a lie:

I own the world's first supersonic flying car, built by Hugo Gernsbeck for Lucky Starr's expedition to the yeti-haunted mountains of Antarctica in 1953.

Posted: **Thu Apr 04, 2013 2:44 pm**

I was trained in the mystic arts by a wizard who is older than the human race as we know it, whose name can't be pronounced in any current language, so he just goes by "The Wizard" or sometimes "big jerk"

Posted: **Thu Apr 04, 2013 5:03 pm**

magic is not a talent it is a gift from one of four ancient beings of immense power and knowledge who are older than time itself....the elementals....

Posted: **Thu Apr 04, 2013 6:44 pm**

I'm really a crazy old dude who likes to run screaming down the street "THE CAKE IS A ******* LIIIIIEEE!!"

Posted: **Thu Apr 04, 2013 7:58 pm**

The first underwater mines were actually grown organically, by feeding puffer fish a mixture of kelp, jalapeno peppers, and Worcestershire sauce.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 3:30 am**

I did not just post on this topic. Nor will I finish typing this sentence.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:07 am**

cotton balls where once living creatures that are grown and harvested in a science facility, you must never know the truth.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:11 am**

All country music since 1997 has been produced by a computer code-named "Marvin" in the back of a warehouse in Schenectady.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 9:14 am**

Leonardo da Vinci invented time travel and is currently in the year 2159.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 11:34 am**

If you stand on your head you'll see this sentence translated into Mandarin.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 11:36 am**

if you take the time to look at my bird you will find a secret story.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 11:50 am**

˙ɐılɐɹʇsn∀ uı ɟlǝsɹnoʎ puıɟ llıʍ noʎ 'pɐǝɥ ɹnoʎ uo puɐʇs noʎ ɟI

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 11:51 am**

if you go 85 miles per hour you will go back into space....not the future....

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 12:11 pm**

I have just closed this discussion/thread.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 12:22 pm**

i am secretly a mod

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 12:58 pm**

There is a door on the 42nd floor of the Empire State building that leads to the clandestine consulate of the Empire of Aldebaran. It's only a consulate because a backwater planet like this doesn't rate an embassy.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 1:05 pm**

the "death" of the human body is actually half of our life cycle we live the rest of our lives as energy beings.....

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 2:02 pm**

The declaration made in the sentence you're reading is false.

(Think about that for a minute....)

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 2:12 pm**

everything you know is a not a lie but is a lie but is not the exact opposite of what i just said earlier,even this sentence is the reverse of what i just said......

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 2:46 pm**

Monty Python's "Holy Grail" is a perfectly accurate and serious documentary about the REAL King Arthur.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 3:12 pm**

president Lincoln was shot in the head but in fact he did not die. it was only a cover up to try to hide Lincoln's vacation to England...

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 4:29 pm**

I'm actually a deep voiced woman

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 4:59 pm**

.......................

that's about as believable as a blind seeing eye dog with glass's.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 5:17 pm**

"Rick Griffin" is actually a nom-de-plume used by a group of surrealist scriptwriters and postmodern graphic artists who are setting us up for an epic reveal in December 2014.

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 5:57 pm**

you are unknowingly assisting me in getting your attention....

Posted: **Mon Apr 08, 2013 7:17 pm**

There are

NO smileys

in this

post.

Posted: **Tue Apr 09, 2013 8:59 am**

The Washington Monument is actually a spine on a giant pre-human monster buried beneath the capitol. It's still alive, held in a coma by the Masonic alignment of the streets around the Mall.

Posted: **Tue Apr 09, 2013 10:17 am**

we are all unknowingly harboring the zombie virus but it will lay dormant until the president give the order....

Posted: **Tue Apr 09, 2013 10:18 am**

Playing a Gminor7 chord on a ukelele is banned in all UN countries becasue of fears it could set up a catastrophic resonance effect which could shatter the entire space time continuum!

Posted: **Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:02 am**

Bananas are actually a kind of tropical fish. They're caught on clustered hooks and treated with a mixture of lye and wallpaper paste that homogenizes their insides and melds their scales together into the distinctive dappled "skin". Afterwards they are dried in a copper-walled hut with burning sugar cane until the sweetened smoke permeates them and they're ready for aging and shipping to grocery stores.

Posted: **Wed Apr 10, 2013 11:26 am**

our "cow meat" is actually the remains of the hundreds of dogs that we have to bury each year....

Posted: **Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:16 am**

Hippopotomonstrosesquipedaliaphobia is the fear of words.

Posted: **Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:19 am**

physics.....is actually not real.

Posted: **Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:26 am**

Left to itself long enough, the common paperclip eventually grows into a pupal stage known as the "coat hanger". If enough coat hangers are left to themselves they emerge in the form of one of those weird exercise machines in the attic that nobody can remember where all the parts are.

Posted: **Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:28 am**

if you look very closely into the night sky you will begin to notice a slight shimmer in the air, if you continue this for about a month you should be able to see that the earth and moon are surrounded by a giant glass dome....

Posted: **Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:35 am**

Due to global warming, the secret entrance to the interior of the Earth has been exposed in Greenland. An expedition was sent to explore it in 2011, and after 18 months a single survivor returned. He has only said one thing since: 'Beware the lemurs'.

Posted: **Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:36 am**

it was once thought that all other human species went extinct during the last ice age, but the truth is that all but four died off.......

Posted: **Thu Apr 11, 2013 11:58 am**

Gunpowder was known to the ancient Egyptians, but they only used it as a spice and for embalming lizards.

Posted: **Thu Apr 11, 2013 12:06 pm**

blood is actually a very rare drink to the cannibals Amazonian tribes....

Posted: **Thu Apr 11, 2013 12:14 pm**

The world was invaded by alien shapeshifters in the 1500s. They secretly killed everyone on the planet and replaced them, but were such good mimics that they forgot they were aliens. We are their descendants.

Housepets!

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