Corrupt a Verse

[Hlaoroo]

Here's a fun little game which will put your wits and writing skills to the test. The user before you will choose a verse and post it here. Your job is then to corrupt it - to make it funny, silly or just plain random. Please don't just copy precorrupted nursery rhymes though - it's much more fun to make your own. Plus that would be plagiarism.

When choosing a verse to post, you can use anything you like, from nursery rhymes to Shakespeare to broadway musicals to Justin Beiber lyrics as long as it's clean. Please keep it to a maximum of 8 lines though, and remember to post where it's from if it's not obvious from the text.

Once you've corrupted a verse, you get to choose the verse for the next user.

For example, if the verse was the nursery rhyme Michael Finnigan:
There once was a man named Michael Finnigan
He grew whiskers on his chinnigin
He grew them out but the wind blew them in again
Poor old Michael Finnigan, begin again!
It could be changed to:
There once was a man named Michael Finnigan
He grew whiskers on his chinnigin
The barber shaved them off so he tried to stick them in again
Silly old Michael's got a bare chin again.

Here's the first verse for corruption. It's from Shakespeare's "MacBeth":
Double, double toil and trouble;
Fire burn, and caldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt, and toe of frog,
Wool of bat, and tongue of dog

Show me what you can do!

[VEB152]

Okay, I just want to ask a question before attempting - can the re-make of a verse just keep the rhyming words at their places, and change everything else, or we have to keep most of the lines untouched/changed just slightly as well?

[Hlaoroo]

You can change as much or as little as you like, as long as it is still possible to recognise the source material in some way, shape or form.

[GeckoZY]

An attempt? XD

Rumble, rumble toilet trouble;
Bum is burnin', shouldn't gamble.
Fillet of a spicy steak,
In the caldron boil then bake;
I made a few, served with nog,
Spoiled by months, same as the hog.

Spaceman by The Killers

It started with a low light
Next thing I knew they ripped me from my bed
And then they took my blood type
It left a strange impression in my head
You know that I was hoping
That I could leave this star-crossed world behind
But when they cut me open
I guess that changed my mind

[Nyaliva]

I'll throw my literary hat into the ring...

It started with a low hum
Next thing I knew they pulled up next to me
And then they took my spiced rum
It left a bad smell on my breath you see
You know that I was hoping
That I could go to sleep and no more yelp
But when they saw me moping
I guess they had to help


The first verse of Edgar Allan Poe’s “The Conqueror Worm”

LO! ‘t is a gala night
Within the lonesome latter years!
An angel throng, bewinged, bedight
In veils, and drowned in tears,
Sit in a theatre, to see
A play of hopes and fears,
While the orchestra breathes fitfully
The music of the spheres.

PS: This was an awesome idea! :3

[Hlaoroo]

Lo! 'T is a great big fight
The gathered crowd claps, gasps and cheers
An angel strong steps in the light
And waves up to his peers
Then turns towards the judges
To allay all their fears
"Don't worry, I'll let the other guy live
If he'll do that for me!"

I know, I know, those last two lines are pretty terrible

La Belle Dame Sans Merci by John Keats.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Alone and palely loitering?
The sedge has withered from the lake,
And no birds sing.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
So haggard and so woe-begone?
The squirrel’s granary is full,
And the harvest’s done.

[Argent]

La Belle Game Sans Cable by Argent Stonecutter.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
Upon the couch a-loitering?
The net has failed, the TV blank,
And no track streams.

O what can ail thee, knight-at-arms,
So lonely and so bored?
The shelves of videos are full,
Of flicks already viewed.

Perhaps this is obscure, but it's one I can recall off the top of my head... probably too old for most people here to remember what it felt like when this was new:

Hope Eyrie by Leslie FIsh

Worlds grow cold, and stars grow old
And death we never can doubt
Times cold wind blowing down the past
Reminds us that all flesh is grass
And history's lamps blow out...

But the Eagle has landed
Tell your children when
Time won't blow us down to dust again!

[Welsh Halfwit]

Did this in University one week. The challenge was to write a complete new poem that was the same style as Seamus Heaney's 'Graubelle Man

This is what I came up with, using an old mouse soldier from my own stories as 'inspiration'

THE SOLDIER



Sky tall and ramrod straight
in tired uniform; he stands
on the blood of his enemies
and seems there to wait

for action to answer his call.
A flex of a heavy neck,
burnt white in withering sun,
rotates his tired head.

He puts one foot forward
And tenses as if to run.
The waiting it seems is over.
The race for life has begun.

The silent sirens sound
noisy within his head,
his face a mask of pain
as leaden foot strikes hard

ground that belonged once to lost family.
Their cans and the chutneys
broken open with their stale contents free
under his black laced boots.

Should the cries of ‘halt’
be by his sharp ears ignored?
Should the lies of ‘surrender’
be by his dark eyes endured?



The stark mass of matted and reddened hair
is taken at odds
with his bearing as those led follow.
The images on the video bear



scant match for the man himself.
A breath-driven warrior
drawn from hell itself;
red-lit in green spattered armour,



standing aloft
over victory’s foul price.
The rotten and mouldy;
those who paid the ferryman’s cost.


He wonders if the truth
shall be told to dead men’s family.
The victims hidden by long miles
wounded by their loves’ bravery.

Those who died and lived
shall remember the craft
with their killer and victim
sorely lost, gone and passed


from his realm.
Now he racks a sigh
and judders softly,
and falls in the breeze.

[Hlaoroo]

Not bad, Welsh, not bad at all.

@Argent:
Food grows old and bread grows mould
And still we don't throw it out
Though its use-by date is long past
This penicillin is world class
It will work without a doubt.

But our mother has landed
Sees our fridge and then
She is now cleaning our fridge again

The next verse is from Westlife's "The Rose"

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

[Welsh Halfwit]

I had a silly poem five minutes. I hope Karishad doesn't mind...

I only look cool,
I always look rad
I gotta play the fool
'cause I'm Karishad!

Can't find no tux;
gotta get one fast
but I'm outta lux,
the last one is past

Gotta think quick,
take it to the pad.
Gonna be slick,
'cause I'm Karishad!

Got a tin of paint
and daub it on
I'm gonna look quaint
It's brain over brawn!

My brain is fast
my humor is no fad,
my way is gonna last
'CAUSE I'M KARISHAD!

[Hlaoroo]

Teehee I love that poem!

To reiterate my last post and get things back on track:

Not bad, Welsh, not bad at all.

@Argent:
Food grows old and bread grows mould
And still we don't throw it out
Though its use-by date is long past
This penicillin is world class
It will work without a doubt.

But our mother has landed
Sees our fridge and then
She is now cleaning our fridge again

The next verse is from Westlife's "The Rose"

It's the heart, afraid of breaking
That never learns to dance
It's the dream, afraid of waking
That never takes the chance

It's the one who won't be taken
Who cannot seem to give
And the soul, afraid of dying
That never learns to live

[Nyaliva]

It's the bird, afraid of jumping
That never learns to fly
It's the hair, afraid of clumping
That always must be dry

It's the thing I need to borrow
That no-one here does keep
And the tears, brought forth by sorrow
That never make a peep

...I honestly don't know the tone I was trying to set with that...

Anyways, another Poe for you to try. Don't worry, mine won't all be from him!

The last verse of Edgar Allan Poe's "The Haunted Palace"

And travellers, now, within that valley,
Through the red-litten windows see
Vast forms, that move fantastically
To a discordant melody,
While, like a ghastly rapid river,
Through the pale door
A hideous throng rush out forever
And laugh-but smile no more.

[Hlaoroo]

And diners now, with in that diner
Under dim, flickering lights see
Greasy waiters move sluggishly
While munching on pate of liver,
While 'cross the floor
A hideous song plays on forever.
"Stop, please! Enough! No more!"

"Skyfall" sung by Adele for the theme of the James Bond movie of the same name.

Let the sky fall
When it crumbles
We will stand tall
Face it all together

Let the sky fall
When it crumbles
We will stand tall
Face it all together at Skyfall

[Nyaliva]

I love that song! Probably my favourite Bond opening.

From the sky fall
Apple crumbles
A dessert squall
What the hall is this now?!

People lay sprawled
As the kids bawl
Hard like baseballs
People fall from the apple crumbles.

The second verse of "Shimmer" by the band Fuel:

She dreams a champagne dream
Strawberry surprise, pink linen on white paper
Lavender and cream
Fields of butterflies, reality escapes her
She says that love is for fools who fall behind
And I'm somewhere between
I never really know a killer from a saviour
'Til I break at the bend.

[Hlaoroo]

She dreams a chomping dream
Strawberry surprise and pink cupcakes with sweet icing
Hot chocolate and cream
Streams of butterscotch, food surrounds her
And in this fantastic world within her mind
She eats everything she's seen
And in dreaming of all this very strange behaviour
She's eaten her bookend.

This one's pretty obvious.

Should old acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind ?
Should old acquaintance be forgot,
And old lang syne ?

For auld lang syne, my dear,
For auld lang syne,
We'll take a cup of kindness yet,
For auld lang syne.