Let's Imaginate: Hamilton

[JageshemashFTW]

Cast List:
Peanut as Alexander Hamilton
Grape as Aaron Burr
Tarot as Angelica Schyuler
Sasha as Eliza Schyuler
Daisy as Peggy Schyuler
Max as John Laurens
Fox as Marquis de Lafayette
King as Hercules Mulligan
Bino as Thomas Jefferson
Zach as James Madison
Fido as George Washington
Duchess as Maria Reynolds
Joey as Phillip Hamilton
Keene as King George
Marvin as Samuel Seabury
Tiger as Charles Lee

Alexander Hamilton

Grape: Alright, peeps, it’s story time.

Max: Peeps?

Grape: I mean, it’s supposed to be a rap opera, right?

Max: Is that offensive? I feel like we’re walking a tightrope here.

Grape: Anyway, this is the story of the United States of America’s very first Secretary of the Treasury, Alexander Hamilton.

Bino: Sounds… riveting.

Grape: Well, considering the original playwright likened Hamilton’s life to those of gangster rappers, I imagine it very much is.

Bino: ….. You have my attention.

Grape: We open with our titular character on the high seas of the Atlantic, ready for a new life in a brave new world.

Peanut: I am ready for a new life in a brave new world!

Grape: And a new life is exactly what he needs considering his mother died of sickness during his early childhood.

Peanut: …. What?

Grape: His cousin committed suicide.

Peanut: Woah, hold on-

Grape: He grew up penniless with nothing to his name.

Peanut: Can we go back to the-

Grape: Survived a hurricane on the island he grew up on.

Peanut: A hurricane?! You’re gonna throw a hurricane on top of my tragic backstory?!

Grape: But, hey, he was a pretty good writer. Good enough that the other islanders put together a collection to send him to New York for proper education.

Peanut: Are we sure they didn’t just want my incredibly sad orphan aura bringing everyone else down all the time?

Grape: Hamilton would go on to affect the lives of nearly every founding father…

Fox, King, Bino, Zach: We fought with him…

Bino: Though in a bit of a double-meaning sense. They ‘fought with him’ as in ‘fought alongside him’. We (gestures to Zach) ‘fought with him’ as in ‘fought against him’.

Fox: It gets really meta when you consider we’re supposed to be portrayed by the same actor.

Fido: Me? I trusted him… Yeah, no double-meaning there. Pretty straightforward.

Max, Joey: Me? I died for him…

Tiger: Spoilers!

Tarot, Sasha, Duchess: Me? I loved him…

Duchess: Well, love is a very strong word, but… You’ll see.

Max: Dang, for a doughy guy in a powdered wig, Hamilton sure had some game.

Zach: Still nothing compared to Benjamin Franklin.

Grape: And me? I’m the dang fool who shot him…

Tiger: Seriously people, spoilers!

[trekkie]

Love this so far! The dialogue is very funny, and true to the HP characters.

[Amazee Dayzee]

I think this is coming along really nice! Wonderful job!

[JageshemashFTW]

Aaron Burr, Sir

Grape: Ah, nothing beats a quiet afternoon in New York with a cup of tea in my favorite pub.

Max: Quiet? In New York? That’s how you know this Ye Olde Times.

Peanut: (barging into the pub) EY, I’M LOOKING FOR AARON BURR!?

Grape: …

Peanut: I SAID I’M LOOKING FOR AARON BURR!?

Grape: Don’t make eye contact, keep your head down…

Peanut: (getting up in Grape’s face) Are you Aaron Burr, sir?

Grape: My gun is in my pocket. I could shoot him and no one would ever know.

Peanut: Hah! You’re so funny, Mr Burr, sir!

Grape: Please tell me what you want before I shoot you.

Peanut: Hah! Still funny… Anyways, my name is Alexander Hamilton, pleasure to meetcha! I’m a certified smarty-pants looking to enroll myself at Princeton and I thought I would seek the counsel of a fellow smarty-pants such as yourself.

Grape: Tip number one, don’t annoy anyone with a gun.

Peanut: Funny, that’s exactly what your financial friend said right before I punched him.

Grape: Do you just… Walk around town, getting in everybody’s face and yelling ‘Please, shoot me”?

Peanut: You are hilarious, Burr! I can already tell we’re just gonna be the best of friends!

Grape: I am going to shoot you. Look at me, I am going to shoot you. In the plainest terms I can manage, our relationship is going to end with me putting a bullet inside you.

Peanut: The best!

Grape: My day cannot possibly get worse…

Max, Fox, King: LET’S GET DRUNK!!

Grape: I expected nothing, and I’m still disappointed.

Max: My friends, shall we loudly exposit who we are and what our ambitions are in case anyone just happens to be listening nearby? Particular behind that rapidly crumbling fourth wall over there?

King: It’s Friday, isn’t it?

Max: I’m John Laurens, incorrigible drunk but who isn’t in Colonial America? It’s my dream to end slavery and establish a battalion of former slaves for the Continental Army! Now someone else take over before we have to explain to the children what civil rights is and why my very reason for being is doomed to failure.

Fox: Oui, mon ami! Je m'appelle Lafayette, the Frenchiest Fry. Aka, the main reason y’all even have a country in the first place! You’re welcome, America!

Max: How so?

Fox: Let’s just say a later song in this play isn’t called ‘Guns and Ships’ for nothing.

King: And I’m Hercules Mulligan, and I… (reads script) Oh, heck no, I ain’t saying this. I’m sorry, but my wife and kids are in the audience. Besides, I thought this was a G-Rated theatre group?

Max: Are we a theatre group? I thought we were just messing around.

Fox: Well, it’s professional messing around when you start selling tickets for it.

King: Really, all you need to know about me is that I’m a tailor and I spy on the British for the Continental Army. I’m really not all that important in the grand scheme of things. Especially when I’m sitting next to the guy who essentially gift-wrapped a country for us.

Fox: Merci.

Max: And who do my eyes spy but the Prodigy of Princeton College himself: Aaron Burr! Why don’t you come on over to our table, Burr? Drop us some of that fifty dollar college wisdom.

Grape: (gets up, walks to their table, and clears throat) …… You’re all idiots and you’re all going to die.

[FireworkFox]

This... I like this! This is amazing! I love it!
GOD BLESS AMERICA!

[NHWestoN]

.... and just in time for the holidays! This is wild.