Housepets!

Posted: **Fri Sep 18, 2015 8:16 am**

I point out you just broke your TV trying to hit a support NPC with a controller. I'm a Nimbat remember? since when are we directly playable?

Posted: **Fri Sep 18, 2015 9:00 am**

I input a virus that makes every Nimbat vulnerable. And makes every other NPC want to prove it.

Posted: **Fri Sep 18, 2015 10:37 am**

I take away your poetic abilities.

Posted: **Fri Sep 18, 2015 11:41 pm**

Then, Douglas was lost
Because Czukay confused him
With magicalness.

BAM! My form of poetic attack, in Haiku.

Posted: **Sat Sep 19, 2015 12:37 am**

I turn you into a quadruped

Posted: **Sat Sep 19, 2015 1:05 am**

I use you as a test subject to determine the long term effects of repeated hard vacuum exposure.

Posted: **Sat Sep 19, 2015 3:46 am**

I hack into the sites swear filters and make you all insult yourselves.

(Seriously, try typing in some swear words and then preview your post)

Posted: **Sun Sep 20, 2015 4:46 pm**

I knock you over the head with a cheap desk lamp.

Posted: **Sun Sep 20, 2015 6:40 pm**

I make sure you get tangled in the cord of said lamp.

Posted: **Sun Sep 20, 2015 6:46 pm**

I knock you out with the tangled up Buster.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 4:34 am**

Has you arrested on child abuse charges for neglecting Sherman. It takes days for them to realise you're not Mr. Peabody.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:07 am**

I use your helmet as a gong while you're still wearing it.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:18 am**

In the next game I convince you open the box rather than take the win in my hand. I dash off as you fight the Boa constrictor.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 10:12 am**

I steal you away and throw you in the fridge.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 11:23 am**

I throw a Deck of Many Things at you then stand back and watch the chaos.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 1:20 pm**

I push you into the warp.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 1:59 pm**

I release termites into your tree.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 5:15 pm**

I sign all of you up to join the crew of the Event Horizon.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 6:54 pm**

I force all of you to play the No Mercy run of Undertale, then use the remains of your shattered hearts to fuel my weather controlling device, which I use to make it rain.

I like rain.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 7:07 pm**

I have you inserted into the story of OFF. Enjoy being Hugo.

Posted: **Mon Oct 05, 2015 8:42 pm**

*returns from her run through undertale.*

Gyahahahahaha. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! BURN. BUUUUUURRRRRRNNNNNNNN!

*obliterates everything for the win*

Posted: **Tue Oct 06, 2015 12:00 am**

I coated that lamp you're holding with super glue.

Posted: **Tue Oct 06, 2015 8:11 am**

I duct tape your feet to your nose.

Posted: **Tue Oct 06, 2015 11:10 am**

I tie a brick to your squeaky baby doll and ball and throw them in a river.

Posted: **Tue Oct 06, 2015 2:02 pm**

i go back in time and hollow out the brick you just used, then stuff you into it.

You just threw yourself in the river! Hah!

Posted: **Tue Oct 06, 2015 2:49 pm**

I tie you to it while you're stuffing me in. I swim away while you sink with the brick.

Posted: **Tue Oct 06, 2015 4:57 pm**

I pass by on a jetski, hitting everyone and everything that gets in the way with a stick, including you.

Posted: **Tue Oct 06, 2015 7:19 pm**

I drop Freckles on the jetski, from low orbit.

Posted: **Thu Oct 08, 2015 5:33 pm**

I hit you with a well-aimed Ordinance Drop.

Posted: **Thu Oct 08, 2015 6:17 pm**

I slap you with my 'unconscious' hands.

Posted: **Thu Oct 08, 2015 9:39 pm**

I somehow get control of working units of every satellite weapon ever imagined, and bombard the entire region from high orbit.

There probably won't be a star-system left by the end of the first salvo...

Posted: **Fri Oct 09, 2015 6:01 am**

I crash into you, cartoon style, after being launched by mass explosions.

Posted: **Fri Oct 09, 2015 9:29 am**

I make sure that you hit a mashy spike plate™ on the way to Buster.

Posted: **Fri Oct 09, 2015 11:24 am**

I force you to play every single one of RubberRoss' Super Mario Maker levels. With only one life.

Posted: **Fri Oct 09, 2015 2:55 pm**

I make you tear your hair out with my own ignorance about Mario-related games and identity of RubberRoss.

Posted: **Fri Oct 09, 2015 3:58 pm**

I make both of you play the kaizo mario romhacks, all of them, while wearing shock collars that go off any time you die.

Posted: **Sat Oct 10, 2015 9:49 am**

I make you play Superman 64 on hard mode.

Posted: **Sun Oct 18, 2015 12:41 am**

I make you beat EVERY NES game. even the ones that require impossible reflexes.

Posted: **Tue Oct 20, 2015 6:06 pm**

I make you play every Virtual Boy game to completion. Granted there's only 22 games total, but we'll see how long your eyes hold out.

Posted: **Tue Oct 20, 2015 10:33 pm**

I make you play all of the old, awful, atari era games that made no sense.

Housepets!

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