furrygamer793 wrote:I hast yon sheet that doth speaketh of yon character
i see we're using renaissance fair grammar instead of ACTUAL old English grammar...
furrygamer793 wrote:Personality:
She's very silly and loves sea creatures, especially otters. She loves reading and playing games, card games like UNO or real games like tag, not video games. She likes reading about magic, and has wanted to learn magic for a long time (one reason why she doesn't think this place is so bad). She hates carrots, but likes lima beans.
you know when folks suggest expanding a personality by including likes and dislikes, ones that are character defining or relevant to the RP are WAY more informative than random trivia. this place doesn't even have electric lights let alone computation, and the population are predominantly carnivorous, so neither of these are relevant and don't actually tell anything about her personality.
furrygamer793 wrote:History:
She lived in a small beach town in a world that's in the future, it wasn't a dystopian future, but neither was it utopian. When she was 7, she first found out she was a selchie, and she wasn't that surprised with the news, as she loved the water. On her twelfth birthday, she was investigating a mysterious underwater cave, in which she found an object that teleported her here, where a Anre Sha named Xerana helped her and told her about this world.
so remember how i said if you wanted to play an outsider you would have to justify why they're here and how they can do what they do? i expected more than this:
(also i'm going to be comparing you to Deske and CD a lot because the others being locals didn't need to include as much of this stuff)
firstly, the future world line is vague to the point that i question why it's there, saying it's neither of the extreme ends of the spectrum still leaves nearly the entire spectrum of possible settings open. also, future relative to what? this is feudal era fantasy, the 1200s are the future relative to this. the others gave a speciffic era and setting. one is from early post industrial earth, the mid 1800s, with a bit of old style supernatural horor logic thrown in. the other is from a 31st century human colony world recently ravaged by an alien raid, in a
DC-esque superhero setting.
secondly, the planar gates aren't just 'poof' you're here. you have to DO something to trigger them. think less portkey more bifrost, get Heimdall's attention so to speak. CD accidentally tore a hole in subspace when his powers reacted to a piece of alien tech, deske miscast a high level spell to disastrous results. what did you
do?
thirdly, i never designed an anre sha sub race, i said if you guys wanted one you could
make it. so if you're going to have one as a mentor, you'll need to describe them, in detail, and i'll tell you whether or not they fit or clash with the setting. bear in mind that anre are all bird themed and their base form draws inspiration from the harpy.
furrygamer793 wrote:Other notes:
Nothing I can think of.
uh, how about how her transformation works? or her base character stats? actually where
are her base stats? those are kinda mandatory.