Housepets!

'Poor Brooklyn Beckham. He got his soccer skills from his mother... and his singing skills too.' 2DTV (old, animated, comedy show.)

“I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap.” - Rodney Dangerfield

"Where has the rum gone?!" ~Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean 1

'... an individual whose appearance was so repulsive I had to have my mirrors insured.'. Miss Piggy in 1981

this is a quote best shown in image, because the artist is awesome.

If you have a minute, check it out, the quote is by Charles Bukowski

'She is magnificently ugly - deliciously hideous. She has a low forehead, a dull grey eye, a vast pendulous nose... Now in this vast ugliness resides a most powerful beauty which, in a very few minutes steals forth and charms the mind, so that you end up as I ended, in falling in love with her. Yes, behold me literally in love with this great horse-faced blue-stocking.

Henry James talks of George Elliot

"But.. but.. I'm Bowser." -Bowser

"He who acquires his skills quickly is the first to perish" "thanks for the tip." - Trunks response to Freiza.

"I wish people would stop wrongly attributing quotes to me on the internet." - Confucius

"Well I aim to prove him wrong! It's going to take more than a few deadly, deadly bees to... OH LORD! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
-Last words of the previous captain of the Planet Express ship.

"There are two kinds of folks who sit around, thinking about how to kill people: psychopaths and mystery writers. I'm the kind that pays better." - Richard Castle, opening of "Castle" TV series.

The Third Doctor is trapped on a parallel Earth.

Doctor:- But I keep telling you, I don't exist on this world!
Brigade Leader Lethbridge-Stewart:- Then you won't feel the bullets when we shoot you.

"Hello and welcome to atop the fourth wall, where bad comics burn"
-Linkara

"The world ends with you. If you want to enjoy life, expand your world. You gotta push your horizons out as far as they'll go."-Sanae Hanekoma- The World Ends With You

"If you work for a living, why kill yourself working?" - Tuco Benedicto Pacífico Juan María Ramírez (The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly)

"Weather in towns is like a skylark in a counting-house—out of place and in the way." - Jerome K. Jerome, "On the weather"

"Oh, look, if you can't laugh at yourself... laugh at other people. Seriously, folks." - Tim Hawkins

"Your heart? What good will that weak little thing do you?" -Xemnas

"The time has come," the Walrus said, "to talk of many things. Of sailing ships and sealing-wax, of cabbages and kings."

A selection of quotes from Doctor Who - The Trial of a Time-Lord. The best character in it was in the second story segment (from parts 5-8) and is one of Britains' least restrained actors.

Brian Blessed as King Ycranos

"Today prudence shall be our watchword. TOMORROW I shall soak the land in blood!"

Here's him delivering it. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b1k-pvCZ2Kw

Ycranos again as the Doctor - previously unbalanced by a mind scanner into being Ycranos' enemy - frees him and Dorf.

Doctor (To Dorf):- i'm afraid i didn't catch your name.
Ycranos: He is Dorf and you are scum!

A little later on... Ycranos and the Doctor capture a Mentor

Ycranos: Be silent, old one. Unless you wish your life to end... prematurely.
<releases his grip>
Mentor:- Oh, thank you.
Ycranos: for sparing your life? it was nothing.
Mentor:- No. for not shouting...

"It's better to remain silent and thought of as a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

- Abraham Lincoln

"I have not failed ten thousand times, I've simply found ten thousand ways not to make a lightbulb." - Thomas Eddison

I'm totally innocent! - Hlaoroo

"I know the rent is in arrears, the dog has not been fed in years
It's even worse than it appears, but it's alright
Cow is given kerosene, kid can't read at seventeen
The words he knows are all obscene, but it's alright"
- Grateful Dead "Touch of Grey"

"Hey Tails! You missed the BBBE!"
"Huh?"
"Best Boss Beating Ever!" - Sonic The Hedgehog and Miles "Tails" Prower, Sonic Colours.

"I'm sure you were the last thing he thought about, well not exactly the last, I suppose that would have been "that guys not really going to hit me with that axe is he?"" -Gene Hunt (profanity filtered to preserve your soul)

"..."
from every silent protagonist in RPGs

"Arrest that ghost for violation of... t-the Laws of Nature!"

- A LoL quote

"but ghosts....don't.....die?" -youtube

"No you press the button... You do know how a button works right? No not on clothes...
I'm sorry are you from the past?!" - Roy (The IT crowd)

"Hello, IT... Yah-hah.. Have you tried forcing an unexpected reboot?... You see the driver hooks a function by patching the system core table so it's not safe to unload it unless another thread's about to jump in there and do its stuff, and you don't want to end up in the middle of invalid memory. *chuckles*... Hello...?" - Moss, The IT Crowd

"Talk about normal things like normal people, and not memory or RAM..."
"Ha! Memory is RAM!" - Moss to Jen

Kyuubi Kitsune wrote:"Talk about normal things like normal people, and not memory or RAM..."
"Ha! Memory is RAM!" - Moss to Jen

"Computer are like Old Testament gods: lots of rules and no mercy."-Joseph Campbell

"Four... I mean five... I mean fire! *picks up fire extinguisher and places it on desk then bends to read it* Now let's see what we have here... Stand upright... Now I can't read it... Oh, not me. I am a giddy goat!" - Moss, The IT Crowd

Why did that happen?/why didn't it work?
*made in Britain*
Ahhhhhhh... - Moss

"Energy is Energy, be it made by science or sorcery." - Puck

"Remember me, Eddie?! When I killed your brother, I talked JUST..LIKE..THIIIISSSS!!!" - Judge Doom