2019/07/05 - Badger Badgering

[NHWestoN]

What if we are all being set up for the ultimate misdirection? Not only Steward having had nothing to do with Marion's current situation, but he legitimately only sees a young female squirrel that is having a tough time and could use the safety that civilization provides. When he finds out that Marion was human, that only spurs him to help more.

It would be the ultimate fake out.

Well, as yet we still haven't a clue as to how Marion got "squirreled" let alone connect it to Steward/Badger except that he (probably) still has THE COIN......
So, dr, your "Mr-nice-badger" theory is pretty much as plausible as anything else in the speculation pot.

[Amazee Dayzee]

I wouldn't mind if Steward was just trying to be genuinely helpful but unfortunately I am getting the feeling it won't end up going that way.

[dr_eirik]

I wouldn't mind if Steward was just trying to be genuinely helpful but unfortunately I am getting the feeling it won't end up going that way.

I realize that I'm just covering every possible level of speculation, but I could also see him start off as legitimately helpful only to see an opportunity to either get back at the Miltons.

Who knows? Maybe Steward has gone native, has decided he actually likes being a badger, and his current motives are just unknowable... until we do.

[Ash Greytree]

Okay, so: Marion's overhearing this conversation about the Equal Chance Program. What exactly does this mean? Is he going to hop out of bed and interject somehow? Is he going to keep eavesdropping and then go to sleep pleased that there's some path forward for him, and then discuss it with Steward tomorrow morning? Or is he going to actually run away in the middle of the night, afraid of what the ECP entails based on this vague overheard discussion of it? I think Steward's response in the next strip after having said "That's not the point..." at the end of this one will decide what happens.

Marion participating in the ECP would involve him taking the General Obedience Exam. If it's just common-sense practical stuff, he should be able to ace it. Then he becomes a pet (on paper only) and can pursue his education again while looking for a way to return to being human. The question is, what educational track would he be on? I feel like this is going to wind up with Marion having to repeat a year (or two) of high school. A school setting would be neat, and he'd get a chance to interact with Miles and Rockstar and that's a potential path to King and Kitsune. And we can finally see what King is doing about that job thing.

In this scenario, there's also the question of where Marion will be living. Personally, I'd like to see him live at Jess' so we get more time with Falstaff & Truck, Craig & Draig. and Steward. Then Steward/Craig/Draig can get suspicious of Marion when he shows how good he is at his studies and eventually he may have to confess that he used to be human, and we get some good character development out of it. But is Jess' place ruled out, since it seems to be for ferals only? There's also the off-chance that he winds up with Lois, but she'd probably be all graduated and making plans to move off to college by the time Marion's on the market for an "owner". But then again, River Ridge could have a university we haven't seen yet, so he could be repeating senior year of high school and living with Lois at her house while she commutes to college. Marion living back with his parents feels like it'd be a stretch.

Idea: King goes to the newly-revealed-to-exist River Ridge University to get a degree so he can get a good job to provide for Bailey and his pups. He's in one of Lois' classes and they become study buddies for a group project or something. Marion meets King via him coming over to Lois' house so they can put some time into said project/prepare for an exam/etc.

Lois: [Opens the door to her house, King right behind her. Both have backpacks on.] Oh crud, I forgot to tell you, but I have a pet who's a little skittish around dogs. He's quite small and had a bad run-in with one once. I don't know how to say this without sounding rude, but, uh...
King: Keep my instincts in check? Don't worry about it. I haven't chased a squirrel in, well... ever, really.
Lois: How come? Were you an inside dog or something?
King: Umm... it's complicated.
[King and Lois walk into the kitchen, where they were planning on getting set up. Marion's there right now, reading over stuff for his classes.]
Marion: Stupid Lit class, changing the curriculum... I knew Jane Eyre front to back and they throw me a curveball with- [He looks up from his notes, having been too focused on them to hear the two come in.] Oh, hey Lois. Did you ever read The Great Gatsb- [He notices King and freaks out, jumping up from the table onto the lighting fixture above.]
Marion: Gah! Who is that?!? Why'd you bring him here?!?
King: A a little skittish? And why'd you call her a he?
Lois: Umm... it's complicated.

[dr_eirik]

Lois: [Opens the door to her house, King right behind her. Both have backpacks on.] Oh crud, I forgot to tell you, but I have a pet who's a little skittish around dogs. He's quite small and had a bad run-in with one once. I don't know how to say this without sounding rude, but, uh...
King: Keep my instincts in check? Don't worry about it. I haven't chased a squirrel in, well... ever, really.
Lois: How come? Were you an inside dog or something?
King: Umm... it's complicated.
[King and Lois walk into the kitchen, where they were planning on getting set up. Marion's there right now, reading over stuff for his classes.]
Marion: Stupid Lit class, changing the curriculum... I knew Jane Eyre front to back and they throw me a curveball with- [He looks up from his notes, having been too focused on them to hear the two come in.] Oh, hey Lois. Did you ever read The Great Gatsb- [He notices King and freaks out, jumping up from the table onto the lighting fixture above.]
Marion: Gah! Who is that?!? Why'd you bring him here?!?
King: A a little skittish? And why'd you call her a he?
Lois: Umm... it's complicated.

I like this, but if they can even prove that Marion was once human, doing so would mean acknowleging real magic(k) in the world, which I don't think any of the characters are willing to do so at this point. If they were, you'd think Keene would have done so already.

I think this could easily go a different way, with Marion being accepted as a pet, passing a GED and getting into college (with generous help from the Miltons).

Also, of all the dogs and cats in HP, I think King is the least likely to set him off like that.

[Ash Greytree]

I like this, but if they can even prove that Marion was once human, doing so would mean acknowleging real magic(k) in the world, which I don't think any of the characters are willing to do so at this point. If they were, you'd think Keene would have done so already.

I think this could easily go a different way, with Marion being accepted as a pet, passing a GED and getting into college (with generous help from the Miltons).

Also, of all the dogs and cats in HP, I think King is the least likely to set him off like that.

I was thinking in this scenario that the secret of his humanity could be between him and Lois. Maybe he approaches Lois on the sly and convinces her that he is indeed Marion, tells her about the ECP, and asks that Lois and her family to take him in. Maybe the ECP has a program that gives families a nice stipend to pay for a foster animal's room and board if they decide to take them in. As for why Lois and not his parents, it's just because Lois is named in the tags and I feel she'll be a more important character in the future, regardless of where the story goes.

As for the GED, that had occurred to me, but given the title of this current arc is My Life As A Teenage Squirrel, I felt that him staying in high school would be more fitting, and gives the Marion the opportunity to interact with Miles and Rockstar. It also gives us a school setting, which we haven't really seen yet.

Yeah, King isn't that large or fearsome, but it'd be funny if after his experience with Kevin, it became a running gag that any dog that approaches Marion would elicit the same near-instinctual reaction of him dashing up the nearest high spot he can get to.

[fenrirblack]

The prospect of Steward getting back with the Milton's has me wondering something and that is does Keene even know what happened to him? Keene was already gone to wherever he went when Steward was changed so if Steward managed to sneak out of the house in badger form without any of the Milton's knowing then there is a chance however slim for him to sneak back into their lives under the guise of being a random badger. Keene said that "blah blah mysteriously disappeared along with Mr. Steward" which makes me wonder if that was a lie or he actually does not know what happened to him. I know the glasses are a dead giveaway but if he's a good enough liar he might be able to convince the Milton's that he is not Mr. Steward.

I like this, but if they can even prove that Marion was once human, doing so would mean acknowleging real magic(k) in the world, which I don't think any of the characters are willing to do so at this point. If they were, you'd think Keene would have done so already.

I think this could easily go a different way, with Marion being accepted as a pet, passing a GED and getting into college (with generous help from the Miltons).

Also, of all the dogs and cats in HP, I think King is the least likely to set him off like that.

I was thinking in this scenario that the secret of his humanity could be between him and Lois. Maybe he approaches Lois on the sly and convinces her that he is indeed Marion, tells her about the ECP, and asks that Lois and her family to take him in. Maybe the ECP has a program that gives families a nice stipend to pay for a foster animal's room and board if they decide to take them in. As for why Lois and not his parents, it's just because Lois is named in the tags and I feel she'll be a more important character in the future, regardless of where the story goes.

As for the GED, that had occurred to me, but given the title of this current arc is My Life As A Teenage Squirrel, I felt that him staying in high school would be more fitting, and gives the Marion the opportunity to interact with Miles and Rockstar. It also gives us a school setting, which we haven't really seen yet.

Yeah, King isn't that large or fearsome, but it'd be funny if after his experience with Kevin, it became a running gag that any dog that approaches Marion would elicit the same near-instinctual reaction of him dashing up the nearest high spot he can get to.

I still doubt he'd want to keep this from his parents especially if he is going to end up living so close to home. He was changed into a squirrel and his Mom freaked but once someone with some authority can explain the situation then everything should go back to normal. Lois will be interesting coming into play as she will be his connection to the human world while the pets will be his connection to the animal world. As a squirrel he won't be able to do the same things a human can do even with the ECP mainly because of his physical body. There is still another Lois question that needs to be address and that is what her future plans are. IF she goes to college then Marion is out of luck there unless his arcs are only when she is out of school like say next May and next summer. She is clearly important but I wonder what role she will play if she's not even going to be around. I mean if my other theory of Steward now getting the idea in his head of using the coin on randos to get them to join the ECP then maybe Lois would be a prime candidate because she wouldn't be random if Marion tells him about her. If there is a scene where Marion talks about her with Steward then we know she's in trouble.

[Amazee Dayzee]

But she might not end up going to college and instead choose to stay around the support Marion if there is no way to fix him so she has to be there to help him through it. I'm sure her parents would be so happy knowing she has thrown her future away to help her now anthropomorphic swapped gender boyfriend.

[dr_eirik]

The prospect of Steward getting back with the Milton's has me wondering something and that is does Keene even know what happened to him? Keene was already gone to wherever he went when Steward was changed so if Steward managed to sneak out of the house in badger form without any of the Milton's knowing then there is a chance however slim for him to sneak back into their lives under the guise of being a random badger. Keene said that "blah blah mysteriously disappeared along with Mr. Steward" which makes me wonder if that was a lie or he actually does not know what happened to him. I know the glasses are a dead giveaway but if he's a good enough liar he might be able to convince the Milton's that he is not Mr. Steward.

Keene told Steward and Thomas that their scheming had been caught on camera. So I assumed that either the transformation itself was caught, or an unaccounted for badger leaving the mansion was caught. She walks out of his life, perhaps reluctantly, and drops out of the story.

I still doubt he'd want to keep this from his parents especially if he is going to end up living so close to home. He was changed into a squirrel and his Mom freaked but once someone with some authority can explain the situation then everything should go back to normal. Lois will be interesting coming into play as she will be his connection to the human world while the pets will be his connection to the animal world. As a squirrel he won't be able to do the same things a human can do even with the ECP mainly because of his physical body. There is still another Lois question that needs to be address and that is what her future plans are. IF she goes to college then Marion is out of luck there unless his arcs are only when she is out of school like say next May and next summer. She is clearly important but I wonder what role she will play if she's not even going to be around. I mean if my other theory of Steward now getting the idea in his head of using the coin on randos to get them to join the ECP then maybe Lois would be a prime candidate because she wouldn't be random if Marion tells him about her. If there is a scene where Marion talks about her with Steward then we know she's in trouble.

I doubt that he'll keep things from his parents. It is possible that no amount of explanation will convince them that this is their Marion. Or they do, but it traumatizes them to have Marion around like that so he quietly moves in with Lois for their good.


Though we are only assuming that Lois is important to the overall story. It's certainly not impossible that this will fall into another rock tossed at Marions head. She is convinced that this critter really is Marion, but she can't deal with it. How can she be expected to stay with Marion as a romantic partner if Marion can sit on her shoulder?

[Amazee Dayzee]

Not to mention that maybe Lois ALSO won't take it well and Marion will be completely shut out of his former life.

[fenrirblack]

But she might not end up going to college and instead choose to stay around the support Marion if there is no way to fix him so she has to be there to help him through it. I'm sure her parents would be so happy knowing she has thrown her future away to help her now anthropomorphic swapped gender boyfriend.

Parents are cool like that aren’t they.

Not to mention that maybe Lois ALSO won't take it well and Marion will be completely shut out of his former life.

Lois strikes me a cool girlfriend who wouldn’t be so heartless.

[Amazee Dayzee]

Never said she wouldn't be so heartless as much as I said she might not be able to deal with. You can still have a big heart and have a nervous breakdown over the fact that your boyfriend is now a female-squirrel.

[dr_eirik]

Not to mention that maybe Lois ALSO won't take it well and Marion will be completely shut out of his former life.

Lois strikes me a cool girlfriend who wouldn’t be so heartless.

Sadly, it doesn't always matter. I've heard many stories of people who had significant others or spouses who abandoned their loved ones in their greatest time of need. We only know Lois from one text exchange, and she didn't buy into the story yet.

[shadowlucario50]

I feel like Steward's pulling a Xanatos Gambit if he gets Marion to join the Equal Chance Program.

On one side, if Marion is good and doesn't cause problems, then ferals will transition well. He could start being a supervisor for Marion and "help" Marion turn back, giving him an opportunity to get a job at the ECP and rise up the ranks and get a new life that's comfortable and thriving. Of course, he would just need to make certain Marion doesn't overly put himself into the limelight of being a human. However, if Marion turns back somehow, then he can use the opportunity to also change back and rebuild his life again more privately or just continue thriving, covering it up and saying that they were looking into ways to help Marion turn back.

However, on the other side, if Marion keeps trying to convince others he is a human, then he'll be thought of as crazy, the system would take a hit, and he would take good revenge making a dent in it. While the dent is in the ECP, he could easily slip in and start messing things up. If Marion does manage to turn back into a human, then that only furthers the credibility of the ECP since theories could pop up stating the ECP turns humans into animals to promote their cause.

Either way, there's no one way that doesn't have benefits if he manages to convince Marion to join the Equal Chance Program.

Edit: I just realized something. Keene usually had Karishad perform certain plans and have succeeded each time. Steward probably seen these ridiculous plans work in action, so he's a witness to his successes. And now, Karishad lives under the same roof as Steward without the ferrets. If Karishad actually works with Steward, things will get... interesting.

[dr_eirik]

I feel like Steward's pulling a Xanatos Gambit if he gets Marion to join the Equal Chance Program.

Thing is, I don't think that he has a plan yet. He may formulate one, but I strongly suspect that this is the first time that he has any idea about Marion. I suspect he's had ideas, but no plans.

[Buster]

my personal theory has for a while been that steward's goal wasn't the gold's monetary value, but its curse. he just didn't expect it to get used on him.

the way i see it, he wasn't making up the financial problems, just exaggerating them, to try and make keene slow down before he bankrupts their cause and sets a nasty precedent against himself in the process. he had enough access to the estate, and keene's research into mana/magic to put the pieces together about the cursed gold, and knew it would be the perfect way to make several very influential people switch sides. after all, it would be in their best interests by that stage. making him a well-intentioned extremest, rather than a double crossing snake.

alternate character interpretation perhaps, but i've yet to see anything that would make it outright impossible.

[Silly Zealot]

I like this, but if they can even prove that Marion was once human, doing so would mean acknowleging real magic(k) in the world, which I don't think any of the characters are willing to do so at this point. If they were, you'd think Keene would have done so already.

To be fair, we don't know how many people in the Housepets! world ignore magic stuff is real.

The police station knows, after that canoe teleported on top of one of their dogs awhile back.
The wolves know.
Most of the ferals either know or believe in it.
The ferrets? Oh you better believe they believe in magic!
Why, Peanut and Tarot went to an actual magic convention!

We are honestly running out of skepticts up in here!

To say he was part of the PETA Assassination is what I consider as wrong. The agent who did it was PETA, and implied to be Joel's "Big Chungus" 'Buddy' from that time, who at least had better preparation.

Joel's "Big Chungus" 'Buddy'

Joel's "Big Chungus" 'Buddy'

HAHAHAHAHAHUEHUEHUEHEEHEEHEEHEEHUAHUEHUAHOO!
John-056, you are today's hero for me!

my personal theory has for a while been that steward's goal wasn't the gold's monetary value, but its curse. he just didn't expect it to get used on him.

He didn't know about the curse at all.
(Also, nice Dementia thumbnail!)

[Zesortinge]

my personal theory has for a while been that steward's goal wasn't the gold's monetary value, but its curse. he just didn't expect it to get used on him.

He didn't know about the curse at all.
(Also, nice Dementia thumbnail!)

He still touched the coin after he knew.

[Silly Zealot]

That was just reflex because Thomas spat it out onto his face.
Which makes his transformation all the more tragicomedic. You can see him going all "Oof! Good thing I caught that thing before it hit me in the fa- uh oh."

[dr_eirik]

That was just reflex because Thomas spat it out onto his face.
Which makes his transformation all the more tragicomedic. You can see him going all "Oof! Good thing I caught that thing before it hit me in the fa- uh oh."

What's funnier when you look back at Stewards transformation is that Thomas looks comple caught off guard by it. I dont think he planned that outcome. Also, a few pages later, when Jessica is trying to find a place for Steward, he hides his face from Karishad. Though if anyone was going to recognize the transformed badger I guess it would be him.

[Buster]

my personal theory has for a while been that steward's goal wasn't the gold's monetary value, but its curse. he just didn't expect it to get used on him.

He didn't know about the curse at all.
(Also, nice Dementia thumbnail!)

i read that more as shock the bulky getup thomas was wearing didn't protect him at all (by way of a 'never actually made direct contact' loophole or some such), rather than shock at the curse's existence.

[Sir Chestnut]

How can she be expected to stay with Marion as a romantic partner if Marion can sit on her shoulder?

Joey and Squeak made it work somehow

[NHWestoN]

That was just reflex because Thomas spat it out onto his face.
Which makes his transformation all the more tragicomedic. You can see him going all "Oof! Good thing I caught that thing before it hit me in the fa- uh oh."

What's funnier when you look back at Stewards transformation is that Thomas looks comple caught off guard by it. I dont think he planned that outcome. Also, a few pages later, when Jessica is trying to find a place for Steward, he hides his face from Karishad. Though if anyone was going to recognize the transformed badger I guess it would be him.

Since Karishad spent a lot of time hanging out with Keene and the other ferrets, he probably encountered the human Mr. Steward a few times. Mr. Steward also likely knows that Kari has some unusual talents which just might include seeing through his new Badger form - not an issue he'd like to raise while trying to get landlord clearance.

[SeanWolf]

That was just reflex because Thomas spat it out onto his face.
Which makes his transformation all the more tragicomedic. You can see him going all "Oof! Good thing I caught that thing before it hit me in the fa- uh oh."

What's funnier when you look back at Stewards transformation is that Thomas looks comple caught off guard by it. I dont think he planned that outcome. Also, a few pages later, when Jessica is trying to find a place for Steward, he hides his face from Karishad. Though if anyone was going to recognize the transformed badger I guess it would be him.

Since Karishad spent a lot of time hanging out with Keene and the other ferrets, he probably encountered the human Mr. Steward a few times. Mr. Steward also likely knows that Kari has some unusual talents which just might include seeing through his new Badger form - not an issue he'd like to raise while trying to get landlord clearance.

Then again, it IS Karishad we're talking about so anything can happen with him

[dr_eirik]

The police station knows, after that canoe teleported on top of one of their dogs awhile back.
The wolves know.
Most of the ferals either know or believe in it.
The ferrets? Oh you better believe they believe in magic!
Why, Peanut and Tarot went to an actual magic convention!

I'm still curious as to how much the general public in this universe accepts magic/psychic powers as real. We know there are legitimate psychics who knew better than to get involved in the cosmic game. Everyone in the neighborhood saw a gigantic griyffphion flying away in the middle of the night. There are online chats for magic(k)al types but it's unclear how many are legitimate. The magic convention was in another dimension though, so I don't think that counts.

I think you can assume that a general knowledge of magic(k) is not known. The fact that Marion didn't know why he changed and then couldn't find anything in an amped up Google search is evidence of that. Then you can point to Lester, Joey and Dallas, who went to a literal fountain of magic and witnessed first hand and wrote it off as high tech wizardry. So I doubt that it is widely acknowledged.

[Amazee Dayzee]

I'm thinking that most people just think that magic in general in the Housepets! universe is just some sort of fancy trick.

[Gameb18oy]

I like this, but if they can even prove that Marion was once human, doing so would mean acknowleging real magic(k) in the world, which I don't think any of the characters are willing to do so at this point. If they were, you'd think Keene would have done so already.

I think this could easily go a different way, with Marion being accepted as a pet, passing a GED and getting into college (with generous help from the Miltons).

Also, of all the dogs and cats in HP, I think King is the least likely to set him off like that.

I was thinking in this scenario that the secret of his humanity could be between him and Lois. Maybe he approaches Lois on the sly and convinces her that he is indeed Marion, tells her about the ECP, and asks that Lois and her family to take him in. Maybe the ECP has a program that gives families a nice stipend to pay for a foster animal's room and board if they decide to take them in. As for why Lois and not his parents, it's just because Lois is named in the tags and I feel she'll be a more important character in the future, regardless of where the story goes.

As for the GED, that had occurred to me, but given the title of this current arc is My Life As A Teenage Squirrel, I felt that him staying in high school would be more fitting, and gives the Marion the opportunity to interact with Miles and Rockstar. It also gives us a school setting, which we haven't really seen yet.

Yeah, King isn't that large or fearsome, but it'd be funny if after his experience with Kevin, it became a running gag that any dog that approaches Marion would elicit the same near-instinctual reaction of him dashing up the nearest high spot he can get to.

Personally I think the best punchline here is more based around how he has the worst response when he interacts with King because when he’s around Bailey and his three pups can’t be too far behind

[Amazee Dayzee]

Or what happened to King when the wolf cubs got ahold of him could happen to Marion as a throwback to the past (burying him alive).

[fenrirblack]

Hopefully when they get to the Milton’s the first thing Lana does is call Keene who calls King and they all stare awkwardly at Marion as they try to decide what to do with him. Then it’s a field trip to Marion’s house where they have a nice heart to heart with his parents and explain what is going on. You know Steward doesn't even have to be the one responsible if they just tell Marion’s parents about the coin and throw Steward under the bus. Say it was the coin and they’re working on finding way to fix it so they don’t freak out too much.

[dr_eirik]

Hopefully when they get to the Milton’s the first thing Lana does is call Keene who calls King and they all stare awkwardly at Marion as they try to decide what to do with him. Then it’s a field trip to Marion’s house where they have a nice heart to heart with his parents and explain what is going on. You know Steward doesn't even have to be the one responsible if they just tell Marion’s parents about the coin and throw Steward under the bus. Say it was the coin and they’re working on finding way to fix it so they don’t freak out too much.

I have this image of King, on finding out that an innocent teenager has been transformed this way, marching home, throwing open the closet door with the statue, and screaming, "What are you doing now?!"

[fenrirblack]

I just remembered something important, someone bailed Thomas out of jail and I would bet anything that was Mr. Steward. So if I'm correct then they have been working together for a while which means this goes pretty deep. There is also one other thing I want to point out, Thomas said "Your stupid treasure," which makes me wonder how much Steward manipulated Thomas through all of this.

I have this image of King, on finding out that an innocent teenager has been transformed this way, marching home, throwing open the closet door with the statue, and screaming, "What are you doing now?!"

Then Olive will turn to Bailey and ask, "Why is Daddy screaming in the closet again?"

[Ash Greytree]

Had this thought late last night: What if what Steward says in the next strip after his "That's not the point..." in this strip has to do with utilizing the Equal Chance Program to provide the treehouse with more resources alongside its main function of giving the ferals and non-pet animals paths toward being recognized as productive members of society?

I'm still guessing that the ECP has a system in place that provides financial support to households that take in participants in the ECP. Steward might try to convince Jess that the treehouse getting a monthly stipend for food and other essentials via one of its denizens going through the ECP would benefit everyone. And this is where Marion eavesdropping on the conversation comes in; his reaction to how the conversation goes could mean either him sticking around or him actually running away in the middle of the night. In this hypothetical scenario, if Jess agrees to let Steward talk to Marion about the ECP because it would make things easier on the treehouse, Marion might take it negatively, not liking the idea of being used as a meal ticket. That could lead to him running away. On the other hand, he could think two steps ahead and realize that this would make himself useful to Jess and the treehouse, and that he wouldn't have to necessarily depend on scavenging for food all the time (which he admitted he sucks at) if they could go get groceries (or have groceries delivered to them, since Jess has a smartphone and all ). He could spend his free time looking for ways to get back to being human instead of scrounging.

Like I said earlier, if he enrolls in the ECP, I personally want to see Marion stay at the treehouse so we can get some time with characters like Steward and Craig & Draig, alongside development of other characters like Falstaff & Truck. There's a whole lot of potential for good story and humor in that scenario.

[dr_eirik]

I have this image of King, on finding out that an innocent teenager has been transformed this way, marching home, throwing open the closet door with the statue, and screaming, "What are you doing now?!"

Then Olive will turn to Bailey and ask, "Why is Daddy screaming in the closet again?"

"Because.... Daddy is crazy, sweetheart. Let's go to the park."

[Amazee Dayzee]

"And when we get back, nice men in white coats will have sedated daddy and he will be nice and calm." XD

[NHWestoN]

I have this image of King, on finding out that an innocent teenager has been transformed this way, marching home, throwing open the closet door with the statue, and screaming, "What are you doing now?!"

Then Olive will turn to Bailey and ask, "Why is Daddy screaming in the closet again?"

"Because.... Daddy is crazy, sweetheart. Let's go to the park."

".... and for the same reason the weird statue that reads you bedtime stories is giggling. Life is strange here."

[Amazee Dayzee]

With all of this, I would worry about their pups growing up NOT being that well-adjusted.

[fenrirblack]

With all of this, I would worry about their pups growing up NOT being that well-adjusted.

Kings children not being well adjusted, what a shock that would be
I mean I imagine one day when they finally getting around to tell them the truth about him, everything is going to hit the fan. I would hope they do it early while they’re young so it won’t be a huge surprise like when they’re teens.
King: Olive, Rook, Ace, we need to have a serious talk.
Olive: What about?
Bailey: It’s about your father. You see he was once a human being.
Rook: What?
King: It’s true. I was turned into a dog years before you were born and even before I met your mother. I was kidnapped by a demigod, Olive’s boyfriend (yes, I’m still pushing this.) Of course this was back when he was still a god but thanks to me he’s now a mortal Fox for roughly sixty years.
Olive: WHAT?!

[Champion Wallace]

Also, of all the dogs and cats in HP, I think King is the least likely to set him off like that.

Yeah, King isn't that large or fearsome, but it'd be funny if after his experience with Kevin, it became a running gag that any dog that approaches Marion would elicit the same near-instinctual reaction of him dashing up the nearest high spot he can get to.

Personally I think the best punchline here is more based around how he has the worst response when he interacts with King because when he’s around Bailey and his three pups can’t be too far behind

I think it would be funny because King is the least intimidating of all the dogs.

Hopefully when they get to the Milton’s the first thing Lana does is call Keene who calls King and they all stare awkwardly at Marion as they try to decide what to do with him. Then it’s a field trip to Marion’s house where they have a nice heart to heart with his parents and explain what is going on. You know Steward doesn't even have to be the one responsible if they just tell Marion’s parents about the coin and throw Steward under the bus. Say it was the coin and they’re working on finding way to fix it so they don’t freak out too much.

It's not Lana's job to call Keene; he's retired from that (as much as the word "retired" can apply to a multi-billioniar ferret). If Lana thinks a call should be made she'd call King herself so he could decline with a crescendo of creative profanities.

Thomas said "Your stupid treasure," which makes me wonder how much Steward manipulated Thomas through all of this.

Or that was a case of taking credit for success and denying responsibility for failures.
Edit: Fixed a link.

[Zesortinge]

Hopefully when they get to the Milton’s the first thing Lana does is call Keene who calls King and they all stare awkwardly at Marion as they try to decide what to do with him. Then it’s a field trip to Marion’s house where they have a nice heart to heart with his parents and explain what is going on. You know Steward doesn't even have to be the one responsible if they just tell Marion’s parents about the coin and throw Steward under the bus. Say it was the coin and they’re working on finding way to fix it so they don’t freak out too much.

It's not Lana's job to call Keene; he's retired from that (as much as the word "retired" can apply to a multi-billioniar ferret). If Lana thinks a call should be made she'd call King herself so he could decline with a crescendo of creative profanities.

Thomas said "Your stupid treasure," which makes me wonder how much Steward manipulated Thomas through all of this.

Or that was a case of taking credit for success and denying responsibility for failures.

You accidently messed up a link. I fixed it in my quote.